Focus.

I’ve been meaning to update Ye Olde Blog for several weeks now. I’ve got several posts simmering on back burners right now, but haven’t really had the passion to write them down.

So, an update. McDreamy finished his field training, meaning he is now working the night shift. Alone. Well, not totally alone, there are other guys on his shift, but alone as in, only one in the car. Like, backup might be miles away alone.

I’m a complete contradiction over this. On one hand, he is GOOD at what he does. I trust him to make good judgement calls & come home safe at the end of his shift. I don’t really mind being home alone, other than the fact that I sometimes often lose track of time & end up not going to bed until 1am. Mainly because I get sucked into the vast expanses of The Internets & before I know it, it’s late (10:32pm) & I still have dishes to do & laundry to wash (because I have NO scrubs to wear to work tomorrow) & there are so many dust bunnies I need to sweep up that I’m afraid they are plotting world domination starting with my house, & before long, we will all be subservient to the dust bunny war lords & it will be all my fault.

On the other hand, he is ALONE. In the dark. Checking buildings when alarms go off, stopping (potentially) drunk people for swerving, going to houses on domestic calls. Now, typically, there is an officer to assist in the first & last scenarios, but still. He straps on his bullet-proof vest on work nights & drives away into the impending darkness. My husband has to wear a bullet-proof vest to work. ::deep breath:: & because he’s gone, the dogs are on high alert ALL.NIGHT.LONG. The slightest noise sets them off into the Apocalyptic Death Nell. It is ridiculous. They were like this when he was in the academy, too. But then, he would come home in a couple of hours. Now, he isn’t home until morning. Which means I usually get at least one rude awakening that has me reaching for my gun because OMG THERE MIGHT BE AN INTRUDER THIS TIME FOR REAL. It’s quite nerve-racking.

In uterus news (are you listening, GOP Uterus Police?!), I had my appointment with the RE today. We discussed my long, sometimes anovulatory cycles. He feels that I probably have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). He recommended 3 treatment cycles with a medication to help ovulation. If I haven’t gotten pregnant by the end of the third cycle, we’ll pursue testing to see if there is a secondary reason. He feels that, baring any other issues, I may have just not had enough true opportunities to get pregnant due to my lack of ovulation.

He gave me the choice of the standby Clomid, or a drug called anastrazole. They work differently, but achieve the same effect. Clomid is an anti-estrogen drug; it binds the estrogen receptors, effectively stopping the effects of estrogen – which signals your pituitary gland to produce more Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) & Lutenizing Hormone (LH). FSH & LH are the two hormones primarily responsible for follicle growth/eventual ovulation. The side effects are mainly due to the estrogen-blocking effects – vaginal dryness, mood swings, thickened cervical mucous, thin uterine lining. Clomid has been approved by the FDA for treating infertility caused by anovulation.

Anastrazole is actually a breast cancer drug. It is used to prevent breast cancer in high-risk women, because it is an estrogen suppressant (most breast cancers are estrogen-driven). Instead of completely blocking estrogen like Clomid does, it lowers the overall level of estrogen. The level is low enough to still cause a stimulation of FSH & LH, but without completely shutting down the other functions of estrogen – mood regulation, thinning of cervical mucous, thickening of the uterine lining. Using it to help with ovulation is off-label (which I’m okay with).

I’ve chosen the anastrazole to start with. But, because we are out-of-pocket for all treatment expenses, it will probably be a few months before we start our first treatment cycle. I still need to go in for blood work on day 3 of my next period (obviously if I’m not pregnant this cycle) to measure FSH, LH, A1C, lipids, prolactin, etc. The doctor is also going to write a letter of medical necessity to my insurance company to see if they will cover a test for Fragile X (which is a gene linked to mental retardation & autism – my maternal half-brother is severely autistic). Luckily, my CD3 blood work & baseline ultrasound will be covered as diagnostic, so that helps. But a cycle will still run us between $200 – $400, depending on how well I respond & whether I need additional drugs/blood work/ultrasounds. We could probably swing the $200 next month, but not $400. We’ll have to save up for that.

This month has been absolutely crazy. McDreamy started nightshift, Christina is getting married, we had massive storms & tornados all across the region (& in our figurative back yard – lets say  I’m very lucky to still have a job to go to). So, I am on a self-imposed charting break this month – that is to say I have no effing clue where I am in my cycle. IF I ovulated “normally”, I should be starting my period (or be getting a positive test) in the next day or two. If not, who knows? I’ve decided I won’t test until Saturday morning, & that is only because Christina’s wedding is Saturday & I shouldn’t drink if I am in fact knocked up 🙂 The doctor pulled a progesterone test today to try & confirm whether I have ovulated or not, so that should help.

& now that I am quickly approaching 1,000 words (this is what happens when I slack off & don’t update often enough!) I will bid you adieu, before your head explodes from the wordiness of it all.

P.S. Could you please pray/light a candle/meditate/whatever you do for me? I’d really like to see a second line on Saturday so I don’t have to shell out wads of cash to get a chance at a baby. Thanks.

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